

This was the first race I went in to feeling calm, zen-like and like I’d done everything I could do to prepare. My first ultra: a 50k. My first effort to run over a marathon. My first experience racing at night. Of course I wouldn’t to hit such a monumental moment by adding the challenge of running deep into the night onto the docket. But there we were, picking up our bibs, laughing with friends and family that had come to send us off, lining up in the corral waiting for the send off. 7pm came and it began…. we ran through the Start line and began the adventure of being able to say I was an “ultra”-runner. Not just a trail runner.


The single track was smooth, pristine and rolling. Our conversations were effortless, laughing as we discussed Game of Thrones and the finale…how the four of us each claimed our own throne. We watched the moon begin to rise under a thin blanket of clouds…just wispy enough to make it hard to see without a headlamp.
Runners from the shorter races began to pass us, the leaders of the packs sprinting by, breathing heavily, sweating and working as we moved at an easier pace, our breathing wasn’t labored. It was a completely different feeling to not be pushing and to remember at only 8 miles in, we had hours to go.
When we hit the remote aid station, everyone rejoiced over orange slices, dates and gummy worms as the sky began to clear and the moon shone overhead. We snapped off our headlamps and ran in the dark, holding conversations with other runners we came across as we listened to their stories: finishing 100ks, pacing loved ones…everyone had so much to share, everyone has a story.
The second, shorter loop had a climb that we could see in the distance as we approached. All the headlamps dotting the side like twinkle lights, we could see the different runners spaced out on the ascent. What looked like it would be challenging wound up being really enjoyable as it gradually skirted the hill and dropped back over to meet the big loop. Dirt was flying up into our faces as other runners passed us by, heading into the finish line of their 15k and 25k distances with determination, I wanted to speed up with them! I wanted to feel that push! Again, I had to remember we were only 15.5 miles in to a 32 mile race. Patience was everything, ego had no room here.
Heading out again into the night, we were facing our second long loop and this time there was no light-hearted conversation, no funny jokes, no laughing. This time all of us were still, in our own minds, in our own zones. Battling our inner dialogues, our bodies, this effort. No one can prepare you for what you face when you challenge your mind and body in this way. No guide can describe the rollercoaster of emotions, the feelings, the doubts, the re-ignition…the depths you meet to keep pushing.
I felt it coming, the sharp itch in my throat that meant tears. I was 21 miles in and I’d pushed the last 5 a little too hard. “I can’t maintain this pace… I know you guys want to go faster and I’m holding you back”. My chest was burning, it was nearly 11:30pm and the mind was becoming a heavy presence. Taking shots of Gatorade I could feel a toenail that was detaching and a blister between my second and big toe that felt… alarmingly large. I tried to ignore them, nothing that can be done about them now. .
We left the aid station as @scott.edward1 reminded me we could slow down, we didn’t need to go faster, he didn’t want to and he only wanted us to finish. My nose began to sting and I felt a few tears well up, I was trying my best and my mind was trying to say my best wasn’t enough. But it was. We slowed our pace as my stomach ached, no longer wanting solid foods or gels.
Scott came up, running beside me massaging my neck, encouraging me as I let out a few frustrated tears. He held my hand in the dark with the big full moon over us and all the insects chattering. My mind started to calm and we ran into our final aid station with him reminding me I am strong the whole way.

We went out for our last loop, me thinking “6 miles… I do this every Thursday morning. This is nothing now.” I put one headphone in and “Happy Song” by Bring Me The Horizon came on. The playlist I’d crafted a month earlier knew I needed that heavy guitar, the angst…and it worked. My legs sped up, my breathing stayed steady and I pushed before meeting up with Mikey on the backside descent of the hill we’d had to climb. For the last 3 miles we sprinted with what we had left and told each other there was no stopping, we were pushing through that finish line. My body tried to resist, but my mind stayed firm. So we did. And when we did, when we hit that finish line, tears came again because I didn’t reach this goal alone: it took every kind word, every cheer, every bit of support for me to get there.

Gear used:
Racing tank + shorts: Janji Apparel
Shoes: Hoka One One SpeedGoat
Pack: Nathan FireBreaker 6L
Headlamp: BioLite
Chafing Cream: Squirrel’s Nut Butter (Vegan)
Gels: Spring Energy
Salt Tabs: SaltStick Fastchews
Recovery Aid: Runners High Herbals
























We got 15 miles in the backcountry, seeing beautiful formations and also a lot of dark, ominous clouds rolling around to the north of us. When we reached the cars, beers were cracked and everyone put their feet up to enjoy the efforts we’d just put in on hills we hadn’t expected to be so steep. The rushing water we had seen to our left when we had gotten to the trailhead was still going strong, beginning to web off into small slews to the right and left of the main force. We began talking about food..burgers…fries…and packed up our things to venture back to town for our reward.
We reached the wash and…no road crossing. Where there had been nothing but dry rock and sand before, there was now rushing water with small rapids and mud so thick it was like a porridge. We all tried to make light of the situation as we began to accept we were stranded with no way across. The water was reaching chests, high thighs, with zero visibility to the bottom. Calls began to be made, what can we do? What are our options? We are stuck, can we get out ourselves?
While we weren’t in danger we were still stuck. We had some water, not a ton of food but some…for now. We were more worried for more rainfall overnight or the next day to continue filling this flow. Sticks were placed into the bank to monitor water height which was steadily decreasing as the night went on. By 7, we knew we could get the 4×4 across but were really uncertain about the other two vehicles. We called a tow, driving an hour down to assist us in the night. Once he arrived he pulled the 4×4 across with ease. Next was the two-wheel drive truck, gunning the truck across the first bank which had us flying up to the ceiling as we hooped and hollered by the unexpected strength the little truck had. Everyone was slathered in mud as they got underneath the truck trying to figure out where to hook the chains before the tow began lugging us across to safety. We left the car overnight, desperately needing good sleep a shower. We tried our best to relax and recover and the next morning, returned to find…the water still shin high and flowing. The lip of the bank was broken away and the mud consumed the dry sand and rock we tried to lay down to catch tires. I couldn’t watch as our friend said she was going for it as the water was 3 inches above the body of her car. She was confident, I was bargaining with the Universe to let us successfully get out of there with all of our vehicles in tact. She powered over the first bank and gunned it across the flowing water like nothing was even there — a pro. We were so impressed, relieved and…exhausted.
Getting a running pack was the best investment (besides my shoes) that I have made. I used to run with my smallish day pack and got by, but once I upped my game and got a pack designed for trail running, I was MUCH happier. Getting a trail running pack means you’re carrying less weight, your bladder fits perfectly along with additional storage space for layers, gloves, flashlight, book…whatever you think you need when you hit the trails. You have small spots for trekking poles, pockets on pockets for hydration sources and fuel (along with car keys!) Having all of these things at your fingertips right at the front of your packet on your chest is a big plus that I didn’t have with a day pack.
There are so many fueling options for the trail and I’ve honestly tried…most of them. From Gu gels to bloks and baby food packets, trail mix and protein bars – they all have their time and place. Not that long ago I started seeing Spring Energy all over people’s social media. People were raving about the quality; how natural they taste and how great the ingredient lists are…. I caved and made my first order. Well, now I get it. These gels don’t taste chemical-y, they give me great energy boosts without a crash, and I have yet to “bonk” while using them.
if you haven’t gotten a buff yet let this be the sign that today is the day! Buffs are the best because they are SO versatile. I use mine when it is extremely hot to block sweat or protect my face and during cold weather to block wind chill and cover my ears and nose when it gets chilly. I pretty much always have one on me and don’t know what I did before I invested in one of these guys.